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I can't begin to tell you how fucking furious I am right now. I've hit that point.....normally, nothing really gets me too riled up, but once I reach that (high) boiling point, all hell breaks loose. This is beyond all hell. I don't understand how you're "entitled" to anything more than a smack to hopefully give you some sense, because you clearly lost all of it. Not to mention gratitude, respect for your family, humility, a sense of what's right (and wrong) and your fucking mind. I've tried to defend you, think that maybe you were turning around and starting to act like the adult you claim to be. Instead, you're just as money hungry and narcissistic as I've tried to pretend you weren't.

You need help, therapy....something. You need to remember that once all your precious friends are gone and you get fat and old, all you have left is your family. But here's the kicker, you probably won't have us. I never wanted to have the family member that no one talked to for twenty years; I always thought that you were better than that and that blood was thicker than water and you'd get over yourself and we'd be fine. Clearly not.

If you even try to go through with this (and oh, btw, no lawyer who's worth the paper their bar card's printed on is going to take this because you have no fucking ground to stand on), I will have no problem cutting you out of my life. I do not tolerate other people disrespecting my family, but I especially refuse to tolerate or condone my family disrespecting one another internally. And you've sunk so low (lower than that scum bag responsible for half of our DNA, you know, the one you've come to romanticize as "Daddy"....yeah, you should thank your lucky fucking stars that you can't remember what I do, because it's fucked up, to put it bluntly. Even now, as fucking furious as I am with you, I'm eternally grateful that you and Der can't remember it, that I'm the last one who can. See that, that's family protecting one another, that's a sister looking out for the others, THAT'S WHAT FAMILY DOES) that you're pretty much tied for lowest, with your beloved "Daddy".

Why don't you go ask him for your "child support"? You're going to be 20 years old next week....you left home at 19. You don't get anything. I didn't get anything and I have pride in knowing that I put myself though school, that the $45,000 I have in student loans paid for my degree, that I work my ass off in meaningless jobs to pay for my rent and food and bills. I didn't threaten my own mother with a lawsuit to get money....Here's a news flash, she cut you off because you're being the nastiest cunt that I've ever seen. If we weren't related, I would have cut you out of my life two years ago without thinking twice. But no, you're my little sister, so I tried to find the good in you. Tried to believe that you would grow out of this shit and starting acting your age and not your shoe size.

It kills me to have to think that I'm really going to have to cut you out of my life. Because regardless, you'll always be my little sister. I'll always have a responsibility to you to be there when you need me, protect you as best I can. But I can't protect you from your own bullshit. I can't stop you from fucking your shit up beyond repair, burning bridges that I don't think you'll ever be able to completely rebuild. I can't deal with your shit anymore. This is beyond drama, this is as fucked up shit as I've ever seen you pull. I'm not so sure how you look in the mirror every morning and feel good about what you've done and are doing now. Because I'm embarrassed and ashamed for you. Does it get you alot of attention with your friends? Make you feel "cool" because you don't get along with your family? Make them feel bad for you because you have such a bad life, because we both know that you spin shit left right and center. I really hope it's worth it. I hope you get yourself therapy, because you really, really need it. I hope you eventually find peace in your life, because I don't want to be a part of it until you do.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 24th, 2008 06:23 pm (UTC)
powerful stuff. i hope youre doing okay right now. family drama is the WORST. good luck girl. by the way this is beautifully written.
May. 24th, 2008 07:21 pm (UTC)
I'm doing better, this was all in the heat of the moment. Thanks though!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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